Have you ever broken up with your best friend? I'm not talking about slowly growing further apart because you no longer share common interests or because you are at different stages of life kinda breakup. I'm talking about betrayal, lies and never-ending tears kinda break up. It is hard, isn't it…
I recently went through the same thing myself. If you’ve never experienced it before, consider yourself very lucky, because it will change your whole perspective on human nature and relationships. It is one of the most heart-breaking breakups I have ever had to face. It is hard because you guys used to be so tight. You would tell her all your closely kept secrets, share with her all of your inner thoughts and vulnerabilities, and just enjoy the little things in life together. She knew all of your strengths, weaknesses, blind spots, and you would know hers. To imagine that she will no longer be a part of your life, a part of your future...it hurts. After all, you guys were once best friends for a reason. This bond is probably cultivated over many years and going through difficulties together. For me, it was 10 years of friendship, 10 years of going through rough teenage years and early adulthood together. I can't believe how fragile our trust is. How it can be so easily broken off just like that, sabotaged by insecurities, other people's words, and oversized egos. Human nature is indeed very complicated, unpredictable and irrational. It has been about 2 months since the brutal breakup happened. Today (the date I'm writing this) is her birthday, and I just found out that she had made the move to cut off all our connections on social media. In the last conversation that we had, I had left it open. I told her that my doors will be open and that I am waiting for her to come to me. The fact that she decided to cut off our online connection shows that she has made her decision. That decision that even I couldn’t bear to make. I am still in shock over what happened. Were you too naive, Jennifer? All this while, the person who you thought your best friend was, turns out to be another person in disguise. A person you never knew could have existed inside her. Although technically our relationship is over, it doesn't feel right speaking or bad-mouthing her to our other mutual friends. Sometimes these mutual friends can even make things worse by spreading it around further and adding unnecessary complications to the situation. I learnt it the hard way. So I decided to speak with a counsellor anonymously. I googled all the free resources available and found these options in Singapore: If you’re struggling or know someone who is, help is available. 1. Samaritans of Singapore: 1800 221 4444 24 H Crisis Suicide hotline. 2. Singapore Association for Mental Health: 1800 283 7019 (9 am - 6 pm on weekdays, excluding Public Holidays) 3. TOUCHline: 1800 377 2252 (Mon-Fri, 9am-6pm) 4. Silver Ribbon (Hang On Life's Awesome Branch): 6386 1928 (You need to book an appointment for priority, Operation hours are 9 am - 5 pm on weekdays excluding Public Holidays) 5. Tinkle Friend: 1800 274 4788 (For Primary School Children) I tried them one by one. And here is my advice. If you are looking for someone to talk to on the phone anonymously, Samaritans of Singapore is the best. It is the most convenient resource as you can call them anytime (even at 2 am!) whenever you need help. The person taking the call is a trained volunteer. They gave me professional counselling and a listening ear, but at times it feels like a one-time transaction. Nothing beats talking to a genuine friend who truly cares for you, someone who understands where you're coming from, your history, your personality, your context. However, I'm still very thankful for this resource, as they can certainly help if you're feeling helpless and are looking for some comfort. If you're looking for utmost confidentiality, a long-term relationship, and someone who can make you grow out of this situation stronger, I would highly recommend getting a therapist. I know sometimes it can be quite inaccessible due to pricing issues, so if you want to get a taste of what it's like, you can try online therapy such as BetterHelp (Not sponsored!) or Talk your heart out (Not sponsored!). (For more info, visit: https://thesmartlocal.com/read/online-counselling-singapore/) If you prefer to have physical therapy in Singapore, you can also check out this comprehensive guide by The Smart Local: https://thesmartlocal.com/read/therapy-guide-singapore/ Today's post is a very vulnerable story of mine, one that I never told anyone else besides my sisters. I realized that whenever you are going through a difficult situation, the best way to feel comforted and less alone is to hear other similar personal stories. Hopefully, my story will bring some comfort and solace to you if you're going through a really awful friendship breakup recently. Remember that people tend to believe rumours, and they are going to believe what they want to believe. As long as your conscience is clear, you know that you did no wrong to her, and you know that you did your best, then you can sleep soundly at night. Until next time...
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Hi guys, welcome to my very first post! If you manage to find my blog, you are really either a HUGE stalker, a very close and trusted friend, or my blog's SEO is just really good xD
My name is Jennifer, and it has been about 3 years since I graduated from Queen's Commerce, Canada and yes, I am lost... I have tried many roles in the corporate world before, but something seems to be missing... One thing I know for sure is I know what I like and don't like. I like autonomy and freedom, I like learning and sharing new things that I've learnt, and I like to build something I can call my own, something that I can share and pass down to the next generation. In terms of what I don't like, I don't like ill-intentioned and disingenuous people, I don't like working for a cause I'm not passionate about, and I don't like working for a boss I don't respect. Currently, I am an educator because it fulfils 2 out of the 3 things that I like. Plus, it does not have all the 3 things I don't like. However, I do need more adult interaction once in a while and more exposure to the "real world". The school and the classroom setting are oftentimes described as a microcosm of society. However, it is still a "sheltered" society where you have disproportionately large amounts of well-intentioned people that will always support and want the best for you. In reality, people and human nature are complicated. They can be unpredictable, irrational, and the truth often hurts in the "real world". Right now, I am on a journey towards self-improvement, self-actualization, and financial freedom. If you are as passionate as me about learning and experiencing new things, follow me on my journey to adulting in Singapore as I document my rawest thoughts, emotions, and experiences. Hopefully, in the future, I can build something of my own in this "real world" and share it with you guys~~ |
AuthorMy blog is my safe space, where I can pour my heart and thoughts out and express who I really am. Documenting my journey to levelling up in its rawest form. ArchivesCategories |